So, it looks as though my hunt for a flatmate might be over, for now. I have my reservations, but hey, we'll see.

That said, one of the sites that I advertised my spare room on sent me a notification today of another potential flatmate. Most of these adverts consist of something like the following:

"Professional female, 25, looking for room in friendly houseshare..."

"19yo student seeks houseshare with 3-4 students who r up 4 a larrrf, live like slobs, keep an emergency stash of pills in the coffee jar and will hand me a ready-made social life on an overfilled ashtray..."

"Fucked-off 46yo man with bitter laugh seeks somewhere to store wounded pride and no possessions, and hopefully shag a series of gorgeous 20-somethings in an attempt to show that bitch who threw me out of the house that he really couldn't give a toss..."

They are at least usually all short, if not all exactly sweet.

Today's, however, scorns summarising in favour of telling the world in no uncertain terms exactly what she DOES and DOES NOT LIKE. Thought I'd share her not-so-little gem...


Professional artist/teacher needs a home at low $

Hello! (I thought I'd try and keep my current apartment, but it appears not to be working out. So...)

BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER, PLEASE NOTE: I AM LIVING IN A LUXURY APARTMENT IN CITY CENTRE, AND AM MOSTLY LOOKING FOR AN UBER-COOL LIVING SITUATION WITH TRULY WONDERFUL PEOPLE. EVEN BETTER WOULD BE A FASHIONABLE BRICK-LAIDEN LOFT-LIKE APARTMENT, BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO. I WELCOME ALL QUERIES, AND HAVE AN EXTREMELY OPEN MIND. I NEED PARKING AND -- PHEW! -- NEED THE PLACE FOR EARLY JAN!

About me: I am a Canadian drama/English teacher with 18 years of experience, 7 full-time drama in Canada and 11 full-time English at an American int'l school in Saudi Arabia. I am a published songwriter and am launching a new album in the UK (roots-world music). I own my own label and am currently doing my Master of Arts & Cultural Management degree while working here and supply teaching as an expressive arts teacher at a local high school.

I have been seeking work in the arts sector here in Manchester, finding it difficult, so have started my own organization for artists looking for a touring network. This is something I do while promoting my own music.

I'm currently and slowly making a name for myself in Manchester and surrounding area. I have also secured two management deals: one in India/Middle East/Africa and the other soon to be in Canada/US, and yet I wish to stay rooted in England. So, the good news is that often I will be out on tour and the house at night is yours.

Often, by day, when not teaching (3 days/week), I'll be home, studying, reading, working, possibly writing a book or editing projects for my websites, etc. I am a quiet person, though that seems strange given that I am a performing artist.

I do not like loudmouths who don't have consideration for the fact that people sleep (currently I live in an apartment building that is not soundproof, and some nutters really are idiots).

I am NOT a football fan and have no intentions of living with one, sorry. I do not drink unless it's for cultured purposes like a good chat or a great meal with friends, so no alcoholics sought, either, for companionship.

I welcome living with someone who is not anti-social or overly social but who is just right. A well-rounded, normal, truly friendly individual with a good heart, true spirit, interest in the arts and in health, and who won't mind living with some who loves politics, culture, the Arab world, Asia, literature (never enough time to read, mind you), poetry (I take classes in this), cats (if you had one, I'd die of joy), psychology, Buddhism, pluralism, photography/art/film/music (jazz/world/folk/good rock/blues) and so very much more.

For added good measure, I'm hoping you like Canadians and people of other culture. I find that I come across people in my work, as a teacher, who either have an interest or who strangely avoid foreigners like the plague. Disappointing. If you were vegetarian, hippy, folk-fest loving in any way, shape, or form, we would get along great. I am clean, but not a fanatic. I seek a comfortable space in which to occasionally rehearse, though that should never be anything to worry about. I'm not inconsiderate. I am ideally looking for a roommate situation in a large and/or comfortable, stylish, WARM house or apartment. Google my name to find out more about me. Cheers.

So. I'm considering buying a cat and inviting her to live with me. If only to preserve the sanity of all other property owners in Manchester who need a lodger by ensuring that she does, in fact, die of joy.