Set against a backdrop of war-torn-and-then-built-back-up-again Berlin.

It's a story of love for beer and passion for football.

Of two people who met by chance on a blog site, started a tentative friendship based on rude tag wars and the desire for free accommodation in Berlin ;) - and were then thrown together in the unexpected aftermath of a terrible accident that scratch on my leg from the wire fence is definitely going to scar...

Follow their ensuing journey through challenging mental trials of Scrabble (qi! qi! qi!), devastating physical tribulations of the long, sweaty trip to the kebab shop and the ruthless invasion of the Spanish who suck, apparently - or is that just wishful thinking.

Gasp in shock as the two are split apart by circumstances beyond their control or Row's need to go sightseeing and eat lots of chocolate, and wonder, with bated breath, how it all will end...

Will Rampers give up his dream of becoming a professional footballer and discover his true calling in life, and finally release a CD of his nostril-and-eardrum-shattering rendition of the Dawn Symphony of Thunderous Botty Belches Number Fifteen Thousand and Seventy-Six?

Will Rowtheboat be convinced by Rampage's assertion that it is definitely the tradition in Germany for all nurses to give their patients a daily bed bath using a tongue instead of a sponge?

Will Fassbender and Rausch discover who stole the massive and stonkingly gorgeous chocolate sculpture of the Brandenberg Gate, in an entirely unrelated episode to the rest of the film that is in no way connected to any of the characters therein, especially not Rowtheboat?

Will Mark ever get a break in Peep Show?

Find out all this and more in this summer's blockbuster film:

The Irish (Im)Patient.

The Times: "... inspirational... life as it should be... a triumph of beer over sport..."

The Express: "...Rowtheboat may be getting on a bit, but here she shows she still knows how to drink the boys under the table. Shame she never got her tits out, though..."

The Sun: "...the highlight was definitely when the crippled Mick whacked the Kraut with his crutch and he dropped his bratwurst..."