1. I am currently sampling a rather lovely bottle of New Zealand Riesling. Culley Riesling from the Marlborough region, to be precise; full of sharp, zesty lime balanced by plenty of mouthwatering acidity. And yes, the fact that I got it for free to review does make it taste even lovelier.
2. I love wine.
3. My favourite places in the world are Annapurna Base Camp in Nepal, pretty much anywhere in Thailand and inside a Hotel Chocolat store with my mouth full of the merchandise.
4. One of my best friends is currently waiting impatiently to give birth. I sympathise, and don't tell her that I'm kinda hoping it holds on until my birthday.
5. Apparently I look a bit like Myleene Klass.
6. I'm half-Malaysian. Unlike Myleene Klass.
7. In two months' time I shall be the director of my own company. Which makes me snigger with the incongruity of it all. I don't think that's very company director-like.
8. I have never been able to do the splits.
9. But I can put my hands on my hips, thumbs facing forward, and move my arms so that my elbows point straight ahead of me.
10. I bet that you are going to try to do that now. I expect to be informed of the results.
11. The only film that has ever given me a nightmare is Watership Down.
12. I lost my virginity when I was 18 years old. To someone who was already my ex-boyfriend.
13. I received a mysterious Valentine's poem via email last Thursday. I have no clue who it was from, because the email address had been registered purely to send this email. Thanks, though, it made me smile.
14. My nickname at university was Freak Magnet. More often than not, it still applies.
15. I once had a bloke try to chat me up with the opening line: "Fancy coming for a ride on my motorbike? I guarantee you'll cream your knickers." I told you I was a freak magnet.
16. I am very insecure. But I don't hate myself any more. I can't explain what a massive difference that has made to me. Or how it happened, or when.
17. I quit smoking last August.
18. I had two cigarettes last night. I may have another tonight.
19. I feel partly responsible for the death of a friend of mine. I will always be desperately sorry for that. I don't usually do regrets, but I can find nothing positive about that.
20. This is going to take ages.
21. The person I love the most in the world is my baby sis. I'd do anything for her. And I will.
22. I'm considering joining the Samaritans. I'm a good listener. Plus, I'm a nosey cow.
23. I know nothing about fashion and rarely wear make-up, because I don't know how can't be arsed don't think it's important. But I know the offside rule.
24. A friend of mine calls me bird-bloke. I wonder why.
25. I am not a ladyboy. Sorry, Juzzzy.
26. I have lots of things I want to do in my life, but I'm in no rush. I trust that things will happen when the time is right.
27. I'm incredibly lazy.
28. I never, ever iron. I don't even own an iron. Although I do own an ironing board. It has a cartoon cow on it, which makes me laugh.
29. I believe I am the luckiest person in the world to have my family. Truly.
30. I am smoking a cigarette. It's horrible. I'm going to put it out.
31. I hate Sundays. They make me feel lonely.
32. I once locked myself out of my flat and had to get a Polish builder to break in through my window and let me back in. I offered him a cup of tea, which he accepted. Then we sat there awkwardly for ten minutes while he gulped it down, probably burning his tongue in the process. He couldn't speak any English.
33. I once flashed my right breast to a passing motorist whilst I was driving.
34. A friend of mine gave me a cupboard to install in my kitchen. That was over two years ago. It's still sat in a corner of my kitchen. It's blatantly never going to go up on my wall.
35. I don't believe in one true love.
36. I once climbed up a drain pipe to steal a hanging basket from outside the offices of the Yorkshire Evening Post. It was so heavy it took two of us to carry it home. Yes, I was a student. Yes, I was pissed.
37. When I first met Juzzzy, I teased him mercilessly for being a sad geek who had a blog. Now I just tease him for being a sad geek. Joke.
38. I am terrified of cockroaches. Evil, scuttling, filthy, unkillable bastards.
39. I never want to be famous. And have never wanted to be.
40. The first word I ever read was "ambulance".
41. I hate Big Brother.
42. I don't know if I can imagine myself ever being married with kids. I honestly don't know if this bothers me or not.
43. My favourite book of all time is To Kill A Mockingbird.
44. I am going to have another glass of (free) wine.
45. I had to explain to my mother what a dildo was. She thought it was "a dead bird".
46. I wish Bill Bryson hadn't got there first. That book deal was mine, goddamnit, mine!
47. I still miss my great-aunt. More than I do my nan. I feel guilty about that.
48. When I was a kid I was known as the English daughter, while my sister was the Malaysian daughter. I used to take pride in that. Now I feel slightly ashamed.
49. I used to steal chocolate eclairs from the sweets jars, eat them and hide the wrappers down the side of my bed. I then denied all knowledge when mum found the wrappers. And I really thought that I might get away with it.
50. I was forced to witness a gang rape when I was 15 years old. The hatred lives on.
51. I used to prefer the right side of my body. To the extent that I would eat savoury food on the left side of my mouth and sweet food on the right side of my mouth.
52. I have been in love twice.
53. Death doesn't scare me. I've had a good life and consider myself lucky to have had the experiences that I've had. Pain scares me, though. A lot.
54. I possess a healthy degree of snobbery. I don't really see anything wrong with that.
55. A stray white hair occasionally randomly appears out of the side of my nose. It looks like a whisker. Perhaps I was a cat in a past life.
56. I hate parsnips. They're just wrong.
57. My sister has learning difficulties. She's one of the strongest people I know and has my complete respect. She can also be infuriating as hell.
58. I prefer views of mountains to views of the ocean.
59. I would love to meet Jonathan Woss. And Richard E Grant. What does the E stand for, anyway?
60. I possess the ability to kill house plants in record time. Perhaps someone could alert the Guinness Book of Records. And tell them mine's a pint.
61. I love to write. If I couldn't write, I would rather stop living.
62. I still love you. You gorgeous, intriguing, infuriating man.
63. The honesty of children makes me nervous. I often feel inadequate in their presence.
64. I started biting my nails and fingers when I first went to school. I can't stop doing it.
65. I want a new bathroom. I miss having baths. Showers just don't cut it any more.
66. My flat has mould. I hate it. But I probably won't do anything about it for at least another year. Or maybe two.
67. I spent a whole night being incredibly shy and nervous about talking to someone I really fancied. Then I asked him to snog me. He did.
68. I wish I were in South America right now. Preferably in Buenos Aires. This is everything nothing to do with the fact that I have been told that the men are absolutely gorrrrrgeous there.
69. I think, on balance, that I am happier with myself now than I have ever been.
70. I was once asked to sum up what I thought of the novel Moby Dick in one sentence. I said that I thought it perfectly encapsulated the monotony of a sea voyage.
71. I got a distinction in my Masters degree. I still don't believe it was deserved. But hey, fuckit, who cares - I got a distinction in my Masters degree.
72. I used to be able to think in French. Now I find it hard to string a sentence together. That bugs me.
73. I would like to live in Italy one day, for a period of time. Or at least own a holiday home there.
74. I used to be the best leapfrogger in school.
75. I am still waiting for Brad and Landers to send me photos of my weekend Chez Gay. Ahem.
76. I must confess that I am really rather flattered that people actually read this blog. Not to mention amazed. Are you mad?
77. If reincarnation does happen, I would like to come back as a black panther. Please.
78. I don't like zoos. When I come back as a black panther, I'd better not end up in one.
79. The first song I ever knew the words to was Super Trouper. Look, I was three years old, okay?
80. The only pet I ever had was a Russian hamster. I called him Mr Frisk, after a horse that my dad won a load of money on in the Grand National. He didn't speak Russian.
81. I think that my dad might love me more than he loves anyone in the world. Even my mum, whom he loves very deeply.
82. I wonder if I'll get this done by midnight.
83. I have never read a Harry Potter book. Nor do I particularly want to.
84. I often ponder over things at length before deciding upon a particular course of action. And then promptly do the complete opposite.
85. I own a sock that has images of shagging lesbian cows on it. I sent the other one to a fellow blogger who I have never met. What the bloody hell did you do with it?
86. What's pink and fluffy? A piece of pink fluff. That always makes me laugh.
87. I don't think I'm going to get this done by midnight. Time for another glass of wine, then.
88. One day I shall return to Nepal.
89. I have a regular subscription to Geographical magazine. I haven't read an issue in about a year.
90. I have a regular subscription to Delicious Magazine. I read every issue and fold down the corners on pages containing recipes I like the sound of. But I have never cooked anything from it.
91. I met someone in Vietnam and I have the distinct feeling that I will meet him again at some point in my life.
92. I once punched someone on a night bus. I think I broke his nose. Good.
93. I wish I had the guts to do things that I know will make people hate me.
94. I wish I looked like Rachel Weiss.
95. I like the word "moist".
96. I don't like the word "flannel".
97. If my mother had taken up an offer to arrange a marriage for me, I could be living in India right now, married to a Bollywood actor.
98. I'm looking forward to turning 31. I think it's going to be a good year.
99. I am going to make the midnight deadline. Just.
100. "What if this is as good as it gets?" Well, it could be worse.