« Twist and shout - at the top of my fecking voice, like he's ever going to hear | One word. »
@ Tuesday, 18. Dec, 2007 – 01:36:23 pm
I have a new magazine column for 2008.
I envisage its glorious future as a column less along the lines of Victoria Coren, or Richard Littlejohn (erk!), and more along the lines of the leaning tower of Pisa.
That's right folks - my little local mag has just commissioned me for a year's worth of columns on the topic of WINE.
Mwa-ha-harrrrr!!
*hic*
Rampage
team 
rowtheboat
Pro Why thank you.
Now if someone could just let me know what the f*** I'm going to write, I'd be sorted...
Rampage
team I think you only worry about that after you've finished the whole bottle.
I'm sure you'd then find inspiration somewhere...
rowtheboat
Pro Of course!
The perfect review is already written at the bottle of every wine bottle - I just have to //get// to it...
soyunperdedor
Pro //At the bottle of every bottle?//
No further comment, I think.
rowtheboat
Pro Quiet! I'm busy doing research.
*gulp*
Oh fuck.
Hey, I got an idea - do all your wine reviews in a J.Clarkson style.
"If this wine could talk, it would say - Open up sucker, I'm coming in!"
Or not.
Congrats, by the way.
rowtheboat
Pro I was thinking more //me//. You know, sozzled floosy.
"Iss... weally...weally...y'no...canavanothaglass pleaash?"
Yeah but don't you think you need to keep your private and work life separate? otherwise everything will blur and you wont know when your off duty. Just like I don't go home and do what I do here, sit on a computer talking to my friends all day.
bugger.
rowtheboat
Pro I think, given the role, everything's going to blur anyway.
do you not think you drink enough red wine as it is?
and yes, I am going away to check my pot kettle interface.
Giving you a job doing wine tasting would be like giving me a job reviewing porn sites! I'd have no fluid left in my body.....
ahem.
(that is a joke you know, honest)
rowtheboat
Pro I am simply making productive use of my pre-honed talents. It's good to enjoy your work, after all.
Besides, once I become (ahem) a fully-fledged alcoholic, I can then sue the publishers for thousands for forcing me into it.
Shipscook
How about "I loves these wine its my beshtest friend, who are you looking at, did you just spill my pint?"
rowtheboat
Pro What a coincidence - that's my opening paragraph!
Chyna_Doll
Sounds perfect! 
rowtheboat
Pro
You poor thing! Who'd want a job where they make you spit the wine out after the merest teeniest taste? B*s*ards! *goes off sobbing with envy*
bloglikesit
Amazing! Am very pleased for you and at the same time jealous.
cool! well done. do they pay for the wine too?
x
eggbod
And more to the point...............
do they pay you by the case?
Juzzzy
Pro The problem is, it's impossible to remember how nice it was the next day.
rowtheboat
Pro Not true. It's all warm and fuzzy, like... an Amarone fug.
*ahem*
sallyontour
Pro Woo hoo, well done you 
Just don't take your work too seriously
ajnspencer
Pro A phrase involving "Dracula", "Keys" and "Blood Bank" springs to mind
smitty1247
Congrats!
Do you have a wine sponsor yet for you to do market research on and keep you stocked for the year?
wine
blurgh -----
now if it had been malibu
sounds a cool job though
rowtheboat
Pro I've never heard of a Malibu columnist. Surely a gap in the market?
RunDontWalk
Pro Oh my that is a match made in heaven. Hugs
The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.
Yikes! Sounds like a wonderful job, congratulations!