So. My latest press jaunt starts this evening, when I check into the luscious Great John Street Hotel and swill away on champagne and oysters, before dining out at Harvey Nichols restaurant. I'm currently sat at work with my bag all packed under the desk and ready to go. I feel calm, in control and fully prepared for a good time.

Okay, naturally that's not true.

As ever, my packing wasn't done in advance last night, but hastily and in full-on panic mode whilst still wrapped in a damp towel from my shower this morning, dripping all over the clothes as I shoved them into my bag. Doubtless I'll have forgotten something crucial, like my phone charger (well, it's crucial to me).

Anyway, since I also hadn't bothered giving much thought to what I was planning to wear to York races tomorrow, I've rammed in a few different options, which I'm now trying to consider properly:

No 1: Smart, well-cut pin-striped navy trousers - Italian, dontcha know *flicks hair in manner of Dolce & Gabbana model... then digs stray strands inelegantly out of eyes* - and a bright orange top.

Hm. Too officey?

No 2: Slightly flouncy red, orange and white patterned skirt in rather lovely chiffon-type material - French, vous savez *raises chin haughtily in manner of Christian Dior model... then rubs bruised head as banged it on low door frame* - plus a strappy dark brown vest top.

Hm. Definitely an option. But is the strappy top too... er... strappy?

No 3: Long black summery dress - English, I'm afraid *snorts cocaine in manner of Rimmel model... ahem* - which comes down to calf length. And that's just the cleavage. Ahem. Seriously, though, there is a lot of cleavage.

Hm. Too much cleavage? Am I feeling brave enough?

I also don't have a suitable jacket, as most of my mine tend to be leather, either in manner of 1970s male student, or Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. So I'm considering nipping into town at lunch to see if I can find some sort of.... oh, what are those scarf things called... (God, I make a crap woman, now I've got to ask a colleague) pashmina, yes! (is it worrying that it was a male colleague who answered?).

I do, however, have a choice of bright red or bright orange shoes. See, I'm not entirely hopeless at this girlie thing. And I'm also great at eating chocolate. And I've got a decent cleavage. Especially in that dress.

I know what I've forgotten. My flouncey silly purple flower and feather hat thing that I wore at a wedding once.

Hm. Dya think a Mancunian beanie from Primark would do instead?