On the way back from getting yummy-hot-and-spicy-noodle-souped up this lunchtime, upon witnessing the daily flashing blue light and siren-wailing parade that heralds a weekday lunchtime in Ardwick, the following remarks passed between my two colleagues and I:

"High-speed car chases automatically make me fancy the drivers."
"They always make me fancy driving the cars."
"They make me worry about the insurance."

Which one d'ya reckon was me?

Also on the way back, the following items were purchased by my colleagues and I:

A bunch of grapes.
A box of raspberries and blueberries.
A packet of Maltesers.

No, I'm not going to ask you which one you think I bought; the answer's too bloody obvious.