1. That repetitive monotone machine gun laughter, which seems to be a compulsory part of every phone conversation undertaken in an open-plan office. "Hurhurhurhurhurhurhur..."
  2. The weekly re-appearance of the "Mysterious Sue from the Unknown Team in the Completely Obscure Office on the Other Side of the Universe is Adopting a Baby Elephant, so Give Us A Tenner You Stingy Git" envelope.
  3. Anything to do with IT. IT never bloody works.
  4. Babies. Why oh why? Your friends will come to your house to see it. If they haven't come round, they're not really your friends. And please understand that not all females come with a built-in "coo" mechanism.
  5. The poison dwarf, whose primary career development aim is to perfect the art of Soul-Destroying Superbitching. Every office has one.

Ahhhh :) That'll do for now...